If you read my Clone Wars Volume one review, you know how adamant I am about this lousy excuse for Star Wars. Volume Two is no different. We get the same old implausible action and hokey storyline.
The cartoons take place between Episode Two and right up to the opening of Three.
First off, the action. The whole purpose of the action is to wow the little kids that watch this. During the attack on the capitol, Mace Windu (who looks absolutely nothing like his real character and sounds even less like him) leaps onto a vulture droid and slashes open its head and grabs the exposed wires. He proceeds to use the wires as ‘reins’ and cruises through the sky riding his ‘mount’ and slashing other ships with his lightsaber. Think that’s cool?!?!?! Give me a break. The writers should be fired for that alone. But wait! There’s more! Mace Windu abandones his ‘mount’ and races to engage thousands of super battle droids. He effortlessly shoves a few hundred out of the way and proceeds to punch the rest into spare parts. Is there a reasonable explanation for this? Is he related to some super-boxer with iron hands? I think not. There is NO excuse for that!
Then, during the attack, Master Yoda notices a droid landing barge unloading its troops. He proceeds to make everything reload themselves into the barge and forces it take off and crash into another barge. Did Yoda press ‘rewind’ on his secretly stashed tv remote?
Think the above was bad? Now here comes the worst part. Anakin and Obi-Wan head to some ice planet to look for General Grievous. They meet with a tribe of dog-like natives composed of women and children. The males apparently are being used for tests by the droids. A shaman tells Anakin a prophecy that he will help them. Anakin heads out (after being covered in idiotic tattoos) the next morning bare-chested. Bare-chested? Did the writers think some girls are going to die over him? He travels to some caves and finds some murals. The murals start moving around and telling a story. The murals are so stupid! The little story they tell is really lame and totally absurd.
After his ‘incident’ with the murals, Anakin finds the droid base. He enters, and finds the male warriors. They are changed into big, pudgy dopes that look like absolute garbage. He overhears two scientists saying that the monsters are for General Grievous. If I was General Grievous I doubt I would want fatties like that. They couldn’t possibly have any military applications. The story drags on with more mindless and pointless action that is pretty lame.
There are many more complaints, such as a clone firing a bazooka in an elevator, Yoda riding his little horse, and many more.
There was great potential for Star Wars cartoons. It annoys me that these people had to butcher it in this way. Some reviewers claim that a true Star Wars fan will love this. I say that if you are a true fan, you will stay far away from this butchery of the movies and characters we love.
Rating: 1 / 5
